Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Frustration Minutes

I am trapped inside. I injured my knee last friday and have been stuck inside, on the couch since.

Last night, around 2am, I was getting very upset with God. Why did he have to allow my knee injury now? G-Man has surgery tomorrow! We don't need another thing on our plate; another way to make life complicated! After his surgery, he will have a useless arm to add to my useless leg. We need help to get through this but everyone we would ask is either busy or lives far away.

I really feel connected to whichever saint said, "Lord, if this is how you treat your friends no wonder you have so few!" Sometimes I feel like life right now is just toooo busy.

And to add insult to injury I still haven't ovulated. I am on CD 38.

G-Man gets so nervous when I am upset. He doesn't know how to act, what to do or say. And I get snippy with him. I know I shouldn't. Especially last night though, I just felt like I was going to explode. I was in pain and I couldn't get to sleep.  I apologized though. It is not ok for me to treat him like that.

I asked God last night why? Why throw ALL of this stuff at us now? I think the response I got was, "To see what you will do with it? I am giving you time! What are you going to do with it?" I guess I do have time since I can't go anywhere right now.

So today I have really started this blog, I quilted, I organized our travel plans over the next little while, and I even challenged myself with a walk. It was a very small, slow one but it felt good. I took pride in the fact that I CAN walk; that I didn't just stay on the couch and mope.

And I know even more challenges are coming. We will be doing our SA and my follicular tracking soon. This will only get more complicated.

God help us.

1 comment:

  1. Caitlin, it's been months since you wrote this, but the saint who said that was St. Theresa of Avila, who was pissed with God over--get this--her broken leg. LOL
    I love you.