Again this week I was reminded that the first plan for Dare Bear is to return home.
I agree philosophically that this should always be the first plan and that it should be difficult to take a child away from his mother!
Emotionally, this reality is quite painful. The image that comes to mind to explain this is as if there was a funnel dripping a truth serum from my head into my heart and it burns! I haven't broken down but I'm living with a constant dull ache as reality becomes real.
When I think about his time with us in the context of our journey towards parenthood, it can be even more challenging to think that he will leave us. Is this God's plan for our life, to become parents and then to have parenthood taken away? Is this the answer to our prayers, temporary earthly happiness followed always by pain and loneliness? If God is our gift-giving Father where is our gift?
Now, I'll be the first to admit that these thoughts are theologically flawed. Of course the first gift is the gift of our life and if Christ is the model for our life, how can we not expect pain in life?
But when I was praying out those doubting thoughts, God didn't answer with theologically reason. He answered that TIME is our gift. We have the wonderful gift of time with Dare Bear. We get to know and love this awesome little man right now. This is an amazing gift! We have been given this time with him. Does the lack of certain permanency change the preciousness of today? NO! So again, God calls me back to the present; to live a life of love now.
I have been praying for a miracle in Dare Bear's life. Whether that is a total healing for his family or that he gets to stay with us, I have been crying out for a miracle in his life. The Bible verse that keeps coming to mind is, "For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil; to give you a future and a hope." Jer. 29:11
God wants Dare Bear to have a beautiful future even even then I do. He loves him more than I do. Our God is a God of Life and Love and I will trust in Him.