I had just sent out pictures of Skywalker to family and posted a celebratory post on Facebook, highlighting that he has been with us for one whole month. Then the phone rings. At 4:18pm the phone rings.
The previous Friday and Saturday nights I couldn't sleep. I was tossing and turning, worrying about Dare Bear. I didn't really have any reason to worry except that his mom hadn't responded to a couple of my texts from days previous. But I was worrying and missing him to the point that my heart physically hurt. On Sunday, I sent an email to our worker just asking her to let us know that everything was ok with him and his mom. And I wanted reassurance that if something did happen, he would come back to us. I didn't hear from her on Monday or Tuesday though. I found out later that she was off Monday and then didn't have a chance to call us on Tuesday but she had looked into the case and everything seemed fine.
So by Wednesday I still hadn't heard from our worker but I was calming down. I had been able to sleep. Skywalker had slept well. Then I got a phone call. The voice on the phone said that she was the back-up to the back-up worker. Everyone at the agency was very busy today but that she understood that I had expressed concern about Dare Bear. I thought that she was just following up since I had emailed and our worker was busy. Nope. She told me that Dare Bear was back in care and was wondering if we would accept him back. Yes, Yes! My heart was pounding and was breaking. Enter more worrying. What happened? Is he ok? Is mom ok? I wouldn't get complete answers for a while. I still don't have complete answers.
Dare Bear returned to us at 7pm on Wednesday, May 4th. He was very happy to see us. I met the workers outside in front of our house and when Dare Bear was placed in my arms he started pointing to the front door and leaning, as if to force me inside. We went inside and he immediately started playing with the toys and eating a snack.
He slept well that night. As I tell him every night, he was safe and he was loved.
We didn't know how long he would be with us, what his situation had been for the 2 months he wasn't with us or how his mom was doing. But he was safe and he was loved.
One step at a time.